Intro:
Anxiety can be overwhelming for any individual. I personally experienced all consuming anxiety for many days after both my children were born, which has led me here to talk about it. I want to share 5 ways to reduce postpartum irritability and anxiety.
Whether you are a new mom or experienced one, no two experiences are the same and with that said each postpartum period can be different as well. There is no right or wrong way to deal with emotion, stress, new and old responsibilities, during this transition to a new way of life.
The joyous occasion of bringing home a new baby can also come with some days of anxiety, fear, loneliness, frustration, or helplessness for some women. Every postpartum journey has ups, downs, wins, and struggles, that’s what makes the journey, right?
My journey was not all rainbows and sunshine and that is why I want to share 5 ways to reduce postpartum irritability and anxiety. You can read about my experience with postpartum depression here
Change is constant, however how we deal with that change as human beings is a complex interaction between feelings, expectations, knowledge, and interactions with one another. This is the time to engage with others, acknowledge support, and confess our feelings, whether they seem rational or not.
In my experience, hormone fluctuations after giving birth can make seemingly easy decisions, tasks, or moments seem overwhelming, frustrating, or initiate panic. There are definitely many techniques out there that can help with these feelings and reduce any of the unwanted emotions during this fragile time period. I am sharing the 5 ways to reduce postpartum irritability and anxiety that I feel are most helpful, even though there are many other items out there that work for other individuals.
5 Ways to Reduce Postpartum Irritability and Anxiety
1. Setting Realistic Goals
I wanted to started with this one because for me this is where I tend to set myself up for failure. When I say failure, I mean when the expectations for the day are not met and then comes the frustration, irritability, etc.
Why weren’t those things accomplished, how do other people do it? Where is the time? Where is the energy?
I learned for myself that setting myself up to accomplish one task or item per day was a good starting place.
One.
One goal per day.
Initially this may seem very different than life before children or with one child or whatever the case may be, but this really helps provide a realistic goal that can be accomplished and a stepping stone to satisfaction, achievement, ultimately helping with mood.
For me, making one goal and obtaining it, versus expectations of home projects, to-dos, or the other twenty items on the never ending list of life made a difference in my mental health.
2. Frozen Meals
Even though having or making meals to stock up in the freezer is something best done in before a baby is born, you can make this work in your favor in the postpartum period as well.
There is nothing wrong with a pan of frozen lasagna or mashed potatoes from the grocery store every now and then. This does not mean that every meal needs to come straight from the freezer, but make life easier!
There are some decent options out there in the frozen aisles than ever before.
Also this is the time to be creative, a little breakfast for dinner can also be satisfying and fun (especially if you have other kiddos around).
3. Ordering Groceries
Ordering my groceries for the first few weeks after my younger daughter was born was my saving grace!
This was my treat to myself.
There are always coupons, deals, and new sign up incentives, depending on where you live and what third party service provider delivers for your local stores.
Walmart also has memberships for same day delivery for little to no additional fees, sometimes this is worth the short term membership so you are not running to the store to buy toilet paper, or even worse, ketchup!
4. Asking for Help
Why is asking for help so challenging?
Is it because we are women, mothers, doers, or because we are all human? Is it because we don’t know what it is that we need help with? Should we try saying, I don’t need any physical items, but maybe could you come spend some time with me?
Self reflection has lead me to ask myself the questions above, and allow myself time to think about my honest answers.
Am I scared to ask for help?
What do I ACTUALLY need help with?
This is definitely a hard one to fully manage, but asking for “help” in whatever form that is should not be as scary as it seems.
Most people around you WANT to do something you need and feel wanted. Maybe the help could be picking up your grocery order to avoid the delivery fees? Get creative with your help. Not every bit of help needs to be costly or time consuming, but small gestures may provide YOU with less stress.
5. Reduce Self-induced Pressure
Why do we as women, mothers, caregivers, put so much undo pressure on ourselves to be perfect and put together? This is not reality.
Reality is mess, chaos, and taking time to enjoy the moments while they are happening.
Personally, I had trouble enjoying the moments while I was in them with my older daughter. The pressure of having my home clean, laundry done, dinner made seemed like too much.
I always worked outside my home previously and I guess I was not sure how to be home in a different role.
Not working seemed like it should have been a treat, I worked a lot and worked hard, why wasn’t this turning out to be the vacation I had envisioned in my head?
STAYING HOME WITH CHILDREN IS HARD WORK!
Working through this undo psychological pressure and anxiety took time and did not fix itself over night.
After my younger daughter was born I vowed to make my postpartum experience more enjoyable for myself and my kids. Everyone has their own unique journey in finding what I call inner self peace. FIND THESE THINGS. DO THESE THINGS. MAKE THESE THINGS A PRIORITY.
I would compare myself to other women, why was this so hard for me, why did I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin, why was being home so tough for me?
Everyone has their own experience, TRY not to compare. Just because you may choose a different path or have a different routine, there is no shame.
Life can be hard, especially in the days of postpartum. Be nice to yourself. Love yourself. You are doing this and doing a good job!